So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
