Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
