sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
