We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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