I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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