I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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