i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
