I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
