I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
