I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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