people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
