Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
