it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
