literally had 100 drinks last night.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
