Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
