Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
