Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
