we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
God, I missed his penis.
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