god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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