If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
