These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
