You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
