He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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