Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
