Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
