He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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