This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
