It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
