Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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