My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
