Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Michael Bay diarrhea
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
