just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
