Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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