...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
