I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There are leaves in my underwear?
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