that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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