How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
