wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
