I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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