She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
