I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
