I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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