i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
