Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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