remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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