u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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