i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
