I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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