You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
