At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
