ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
