the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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