summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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